Me while I was pregnant with Devin Théodore

October 6th, 1789

Entry 532,

Why should a fifteen year old have to worry about raising her child while surviving an abusive relationship? I don’t know how much longer I can stand this. It was bad enough that father arranged for me to get married, but he couldn’t have chosen a worse husband. Jean Jacques Devin, the last Marquis de Fontenay—what a grand name for such a disgusting, small and ugly man. He is the complete opposite of the lovely Alexandre de Laborde, with the only attractive thing about him being the fact that he is wealthy, French, and powerful. As an aristocrat, I got stuck in the position of having to marry rich in order to support the position of my family. Apparently big important titles are enough to get people to turn a blind eye towards the naughty things that people do while sneaking around with other women.

Anyways, ever since he dragged me to Paris, I’ve been living a new life. A few years ago, he took me to visit the King and Queen in Versailles. The fashion there was wonderful, and someday I hope to open a salon in Paris. I joined this group called the Club de 1789, and through it, I’ve found my passion for liberalism. Listening to people like Lafayette has opened my eyes to the importance of educational reform.

Yesterday, there was a big commotion at the King & Queen’s palace. Apparently, the Parisian women marched all the way to Versailles to complain about the high cost of bread due to the poor weather conditions. Although I thought King Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette were respectable people, I admire the women’s determination in fighting for what they believe in without the help of men. There really are holes in this monarchy system. I just hope people don’t turn against aristocrats, like myself, because of their Pacte de Famine theory. Otherwise, I’ll have to be running from more people than just my husband.

Things have been rough, and all I can hope is that I’ll be able to end this marriage. I’ve been hearing him murmur of divorce in his sleep. Thank goodness! For now, I’ll dream of a future without him in the picture. Maybe I’ll be able to focus on learning more about this revolution. But first, I’m just hoping that there is a way to get me out of here!