My old love, Jean Lambert Tallien:


It has been so long since we last spoke, and I cannot help but bid one last goodbye to the man I once knew all too well. I never expected life to hold such surprises as I have experienced ever since I met you in Bordeaux.

They called me Notre Dame de Thermidor, a saviour to the innocent inmates stuck behind jail bars due to rumours spread about the rich. However, while reminiscing about my actions, I realized that I could not have done all of this if you had not been the one to save me from my own execution. I believe that I owe you a thank you—a thank you for giving me a second chance.

I remember the feeling of the rats gnawing at my ankles, imagining their teeth as the jaws of the guillotine, hungry to dig into human skin. I remember the damp, cool air from within the prison cells wrapping around me like a cloak of death, waiting to suffocate me. You saved my life that day… but you took the lives of so many others. I guess our ideologies were too different for us to be together. Although you rid this earth of Robespierre, the blood on his hands stained yours as well.

I really thought I could change you. I guess that is one of my biggest regrets. I was able to rescue so many people from death’s grasp, but I could not prevent you from taking the lives of so many others. I hope that in the future, you will be able to see how much better life can be through peaceful settlements.

Although our paths may never cross again, I hope that I have left an impact on your life, and that you will realize how many lives have been unnecessarily thrown away during this reign of terror. Life is a gift, and I have done my best to make the most out of the second chance you gave me. I hope you will remember me, and that my legacy will live on long after my name has been forgotten.

I do not want to be remembered for my personal affairs or my flashy outfits. I want to be remembered for triggering the downfall of a tyrant, and planting and nourishing the idea of a peaceful earth without the use of violence to resolve conflicts. I know that your mind set may not be able to be swayed, but I find it fairly therapeutic to confess my feelings and pray that somewhere within you, that seed will flourish and open your eyes to how wonderful this world can be.



Theresa Cabarrus